Do we ever actually CHANGE?


Recently, I reconnected with a long lost, beloved friend I made during Freshman year of college. You know the kind I'm talking about. The kind of friend you instantly bond with even though all you initially know about them is that they have the same exact backpack, a halo of hair you'd kill for and don't know how to get to the cafeteria either.

The first words out of her mouth after I exclaimed, "Tell me absolutely everything!" was "You haven't changed a bit!" which was followed by her contagious laugh (which then triggered me to exclaim the same sentiment to her.) We wasted no time in reminiscing about the old times and then pivoted to divulging the details of our "since then" lives. We left no stone unturned, digging into careers, relationships, travel, family, children, spirituality, politics, health, hobbies and of course binge-worthy television.

After I hung up the phone two hours later, I felt the exact same way about her that I did when we used to hang out in our dorm 30 years ago. I was awash with love, levity, and a sense of deep connection. And yet, I couldn't help but think about how- in spite of the fact that both of us had experienced SO MUCH over the ensuing years- we both sounded the exact same to each other. It made me pause. Do we ever actually change?

And here's what I came up with. Of course, we change. Personally, I've become much more self-aware, open-minded, confident and grateful due to the myriad of experiences I have navigated over the decades. But, what often stays the same is our VIBE which is simply the way we energetically transmit our signal to everyone around us. That's why, even after sharing so much about our separate lives, we ended the conversation the same way we began it- "You haven't changed a bit!"


Gail KreitzerComment